Superpowers as superheroes

I’m hesitant to link to this article, because the larger context enunciates a fear that has likely been hovering within many of us as of late, and that, frankly I don’t wish to discuss or dwell on. That being said, I always think its fascinating to see how America is viewed from the outside, and Charlie Brooker, the TV columnist over at the Guardian offers up such a brilliant passage about what recent years have looked like from across the pond, that I can’t resist:

For the last eight years, watching America at work was like watching the scenes in Superman III where Superman, under the influence of red kryptonite, goes "bad" and grows stubble and gets drunk and starts vandalising the city and shouting at kids. He's only stopped when his geeky alter ego Clark Kent magically fights his way out from within, and stands blinking before him, in his nerdy suit and thick glasses. Evil Superman scowls, and the pair have a cathartic bust-up in a junkyard - at the end of which Evil Superman is finally vanquished. As a battered but unbowed Clark Kent gazes up at the heavens, the theme music swells, and he pulls his shirt open to reveal - ta da! - a fresh, clean Superman costume he'd been wearing underneath the whole time. Then he flies off and beats up Robert Vaughn or something, which is a shame because until then it had all been a pretty good metaphor for the redemptive spectacle of last November's election. And now it's just a silly action movie I probably shouldn't have mentioned in the first place.

So nice to know we’re seen as the good Superman again.

The top ten cars to get you laid in 2009

We enter 2009 with the global financial landscape in ruin, and the environment pretty much in similar condition. Priorities are different, and people are concerned with things that weren't even periphery concerns just five years ago. Suddenly it's sexy to be shrewd with money and nice to the earth. And there is no better way to prove how sexy you are than driving a sexy car.

But what's sexy now? Certainly not anything ostentatious or obscenely expensive. Certainly not a douchey H2 rolling on 22s. Today a sexy car is practical and green. With this in mind, we here at The Lit Department have painstakingly assembled a list of the top ten cars that will show off your sexiness and surely get you laid in 2009 and beyond.

10. 2009 Honda Fit

This funky looking little spark plug of an import manages 33 mpg on the highway and starts at just $14,750. Its 117 horsepower engine might not rumble the nether regions of a passersby, but the Honda Fit’s practicality oozes sex appeal (it’s even a hatchback, rock on).

9. 2009 Ford Escape Hybrid / Mercury Mariner Hybrid

There may not be a less sexy phrase than Ford Motor Company thanks to a recent history of shitty cars; however, Ford is surviving the current economic downturn without taxpayer bailout money, and that makes them alright in my book. The Ford Escape manages 34 mpg in the city and is the only vehicle on this list useful for hiding a body or moving furniture. Unfortunately, the Escape starts just shy of $30,000.

8. 2009 Camry Hybrid

Nothing is sexier than being sexy without trying to be sexy, and the Camry hasn't tried since its introduction in 1982. It's reliable, it's roomy, and projects so much common sense that others may ask for advice on restructuring a failing mortgage. It get about 33 mpg around town and starts around $26,000. Plus the Camry's safety ratings are excellent, allowing one to more safely engage in highway nookie shenanigans.

7. 2009 Prius Hybrid

Some may be surprised that this isn't the top dog on our list, especially with its outstanding mileage numbers (45/48 mpg) and pseudo-reasonable price (around $22,000). This is one ugly car though, and practicality can only go so far. Plus, the rear seat is useless to anyone six feet or taller thanks to the sloping roof design. Still, the Prius is a solid contender, even if it tends to project smugness a little more than sexiness.

6. 2009 MINI Cooper

First off, this thing is a crackerjack of car. It's a hell of a lot of fun to drive and goes around corners like it's on rails. It's cheaper than the Prius by a few grand, and still gets 37 mpg on the highway. Add classic MINI styling and some German engineering (it's made by BMW) and you've got a fuel efficient car that's fun to drive, fuel-efficient, and cool to look at. This makes the MINI Cooper a sexy little beast. Rawr.

5. 2009 Civic Hybrid

A Civic? Sexy? Well, sort of. First, there are the vital statistics: 45 mpg highway, 41 mpg city, base price around $23,000. More importantly, Yahoo! (in consultation with Environmental Defense) gave the Civic Hybrid its highest rating for environmental friendliness. If you peek at those ratings, you'll notice the Prius got the same high rating, but the Civic Hybrid prevails because it's made by Honda, a company that was named the most eco-friendly of all U.S. car manufactures by the UCS, or Union of Concerned Scientists. Just how concerned? We don't know, but it's a good bet you will get far more tail than the UCS in this super-green and reliable Civic.

4. 2009 VW Jetta TDi

Speaking of German engineering, the Jetta TDi is a damn cool ride. This Jetta's clean diesel four-cylinder engine delivers 41 mpg on the highway, while also producing a zippy (and not in the way a Prius is "zippy") 140 horsepower. This means the new TDi can go from zero to sixty miles per hour in under nine seconds. It's the first automobile to meet the world’s most stringent emission control standards, California’s Tier II, Bin 5 (no, we have no idea what that means either). At just under $22,000, the TDi is a better buy than any hybrid on the road. Plus, it's a chic looking car, especially when compared to the goofy Prius, or the the quirky MINI. It's eco-friendly, it's cool, and it's sure to save you enough money on gas to afford some sexy underwear.

3. Walking

You want to be eco-friendly don't you? Then why not move to where you can walk to your job? Better yet, quit your job and start writing anti-pollution poetry in iambic pentameter while you mulch yesterday's leftovers in a handcrafted bin made of organically grown hemp fibers. No, on second thought, don't do that. That would almost be as douchey as rolling in a H2 with 22s on it. But keep walking, because that's sexy. You'll lose weight, reduce you carbon footprint, and get more opportunities to smile at attractive strangers you pass on the sidewalk.

2. Riding a bike

Walking is great and everything, but sometimes you don't have all afternoon to get across town. Plus, you get the chance to plaster your bike frame with band stickers and carry a messenger bag covered in Green Peace and Sierra Club buttons. And it's fun. People forget how much fun it is to ride a bike. It's like going back to being seven and cruising around the neighborhood with a baseball card flip-flip-flipping on the rear wheel, or pink tassels dancing in the wind.

1. Taking the subway

Nothing says sexy in 2009 like mass transportation. If you're taking mass transportation it means you most likely live in a city that cares about civic infrastructure, and that means you're somewhere cosmopolitan and relatively progressive. You're in a cultural hub filled with art, restaurants, museums, and the tangible electric buzz of human life all around you. That is being alive. That is eco-friendly. That is sexy. And that will get you laid.

The city on a hill

I am currently reading The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell, and last night it occurred to me how perfect this book is to be reading at this moment in history. Though the book is admittedly much denser than her predecessors [such as Assassination Vacation, a witty romp through presidential assassination history( and yes, I said "witty" and "romp" and "assassination" in the same breath)] and one of my favorite books of all time] it strikes on such a perfect cord for this blog—the intersection of literature and politics, and hope.

Vowell's shipmates are, of course, the puritans. They leave England in the midst of social and political unrest—Vowell reminds us that these puritans aren’t saints, but they are wordy. They hold literature and learning in high regard, and will produce a large volume of texts while settling the Massachusetts Bay Colony. One of the most famous of these texts is actually a sermon delivered by John Winthrop in 1630, which contains now well-known phrase, “The city on a hill.” Reagan liked to use this phrase often in his speeches, often adding “shining”… as in, we are a shining city on a hill.

It’s lovely imagery. And if I were about to set out on a lengthy, highly risky journey across the ocean in a tiny wooden ship, I too would want to hear that I was heading to a shining city on a hill. But its meaning is so complicated.. those who inhabit a city on a hill are literally looking down on the world. They are leading by example. They are closer to God. The phrase alone creates a hierarchy. We are on the hill, everybody else is not. Obama, I believe, has never uttered this phrase. But even he alludes to it.

Another part of this phrase is the idea of hope. The idea that even when our country is so clearly in the ditches, most of us still have this place in our hearts where the idea of “America” is something bigger. Even during the last eight years, as we watched scandal after scandal drag this country’s name through the mud… even as we continued to fight a war no one wanted… even as we threw out the Geneva convention… even as the economy sank through the floor… we continued to have hope somewhere in our hearts that this would pass. We continued to somehow be grateful for being in this mythical “America.” And, it is most likely because of this idea that somehow we should be a city on a hill, that the atrocities of the last 8 years have been even more painful. How dare they shame us? How dare they destroy the ideals and hope that have been so intrinsic in the nation since they day our forefathers crossed the ocean to start this country. And how painful still that the one’s committing the crimes were our own elected officials. The ones many (though not I) voted for, with hope, four and eight years ago.

And believe me, I am in no way glorifying the settlers or what they did. The plagues they brought upon the native inhabitants, the capitol punishment imposed on heretics and non-believers, the legacy of an intermingled church and state, the legacy of puritan ideals that we have tried so hard to escape.

But they did have one legacy that we can be proud of. Hope. To them, it was in large part faith in their God. But also just hope.

And so as I listened to President Obama’s inauguration speech on Tuesday, I thought again about this idea of America as the shining city on a hill. He, too, referred to it in a way:

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.

It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame.

Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things—some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor—who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

We can only infer that traveling “up the long, rugged path” lead us to the shining city. But President Obama’s message has always been about hope. About restoring this ideal to America. He continues:

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions—that time has surely passed.

Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

Somehow, to me, his speech felt like the one Winthrop gave to the Puritans before their journey. Warning of perils ahead, naysayers behind, but instilling hope that better things were possible, that with hard work, perseverance, and hope, they could reach that city on a hill.

And so here we are again, setting off in stormy seas, hoping to reach a better America.

This makes me inexplicably happy

Obama in the Oval Office, sans jacket. Suddenly, all seems right with the world.

Showing "respect" for a political office

There has been some talk about the lack of respect some citizens have shown George W. Bush as he leaves office. There have been demonstrations throwing shoes on the lawn of the White House, and at a large effigy of George W. himself wearing that "Mission Accomplished" flight suit. Groups have gathered in D.C. to sing "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" both during election night, and on inauguration day as George W. left D.C. for good.

Any elected official, even the president, deserves no more or less respect than any other citizen. The leader of any nation, if elected by the people, is given power only through that electoral process, he or she is not royalty and should not be treated as such. Blindly bestowing respect to a politician because of the position he or she holds does not allow a democracy to function effectively. The best way to "show respect" for any democratic leader, and the democratic process, is to express one's political views and to get involved in the political process oneself.

Singing "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" as a politician leaves office, no matter the politician, is an inherently democratic act, and, I would argue, demonstrates a form of non-violent dissent our nation needs to thrive.